How about that time I peed my pants at work?

Seriously laughing at myself right now thinking about how hard my husband was laughing at me. It's probably pretty close to a whole 4 years ago. I can't believe I'm going to share this with you all. So let's all think about our most embarrassing moments..  Mine just happened to occur in a grocery store.

The funny thing is no one really knew except myself (duh) and my hubby who I called from the customer bathroom. Now I'm not saying I was soaked or anything. I didn't leave a puddle on the floor, but if it was definitely enough to make anyone uncomfortable and plus I was working.. it wasn't like I could just up and leave without an explanation or could I? Would you leave without telling anyone and explain later that you pissed your pants or just suck it up for a moment and pretend nothing happened? Obviously I far preferred the latter.

She was worth it!
I hadn't even gave birth yet for crying out loud. I was about 7 months pregnant, working a night shift alone in my department. I would like to say that I have always been a good worker and just because I was pregnant I didn't change a thing. It honestly drove me crazy when people would try to help me or tell me I shouldn't lift something that heavy (40ishlbs.) I am PREGNANT, not BROKEN, NOT handicapped - that was basically my thing. You can call me crazy if you like, I don't mind.

One minute I'm out back lifting heavy boxes, the next I am standing out front on the department floor with the customers. So I really wish I could blame the incident on lifting too heavy and just having a weak bladder, because there's a tiny human sitting on it, but you'll never believed what happened. I can't remember exactly what I was putting on the shelf (keep in mind it is late summer) but there were SO MANY FRUIT FLIES. It was probably the fresh, sweet strawberries that you constantly have to check over to make sure they're ripe not rotten, BUT ANYWAYS one of those little tiny bastards flew up my nose, which in turn made me have the biggest sneezes (yes plural!!!) of life, then the following moment my pants were wet. Fuck.

The good news is that our uniform pants were black, so nobody knew what happened. Except my pride, she took a real hit that day. I ran to the bathroom which was very close btw and it happened to be open, which is a rare occurence, It's like the stars aligned so I could pee my pants at work and be as graceful as possible about it. I called my husband who was in hysterics about the whole situation, but he came to the rescue with pants in hand. I stood hiding in the bathroom until he arrived. My thoughts that day "Like if this is happening now wtf is going to happen after I've pushed a baby out of my vagina?" SWEET BABY JESUS, mortified. So moral of the story, never trust a sneeze

& on that note, I leave you with some enthusiastic words from Rachel Hollis:

"Giving birth to a baby is like a space shuttle launch. Everything gets destroyed on the way out."